Scapegoating in Families

When we Identify with someone, whether that person is a family member or otherwise, the possibility of projecting our own negative quality emerges. Say we both are anxious for instance. I could then project my identification with your anxiety on you and say you are the one who is anxious, Not Me. In this way, I use you to get rid of my own anxiety.

I could also say that you are the cause of the family’s problems, Not Me. In this case, Blame and Shame are projected. This happens when a parent acts as though a child bears the same level of responsibility or more than they do for the family well-being, projecting their own parental responsibility onto the child. This happens in families often, and is a major common root childhood cause of mental illness.